I grew up hearing that queer saying that "men are from Mars and women are from Venus", but never really agreed with it. What I believed was that yes- we may see things from different perspectives based on so many factors like nature and nurture and all that psychological mumbo-jumbo we learned in Uni. However, with education, films, books, the internet, technology, surely we are getting closer to understanding and knowing how members of the opposite sex think.
Sadly, the mistake in my theory was failure to factor in matters of the heart. What I discovered was that in spite of how "evolved" we may think we have become, when it comes to men/women relationships, we have not really advanced as much.
Below is a compilation of a series of interviews conducted on several members of both sexes. Instead of writing out a long, tedious report, detailing the questions asked and hours of back-breaking analysis, yours truly decided to hook all y'all up and make it a bit more fun. Please read with an open mind and I would really love to hear your take on it, Chocolate Nation.
The guy
You there!
Look at me. I'm looking at you
I like what I see. I know you like what you see
I see the stars in your eyes when you look at me
I like the way you put your head down demurely when I smile at you
When I whisper things in your ear only you can hear
When I touch you
When I tell you that I want you, all of you
The filthy things I would like to do to you
When I look at you like I want to eat you whole
I like it when you loose your voice when I stand real close
When your eye glaze over when I bend down to....hmmm...smell you
I like it when you take the lead
Grab me by my shirt and pull me to yourself
Stand on tip-toes and kiss me
Shyly, at first, like you aren't sure
Then with more certainty.
Instantly transformed from a girl to a woman
I like this woman
She is wild, passionate, uninhabited, reckless
A freak
I want to explore her some more
But you withdraw.Why?
I can see the war in your mind, hear the conflicting thoughts in your head
I can understand them. But I don't care to explore them with you
They are your beliefs and I do respect them
However I want you...in the worst kind of way
And somehow we have to do something about these your big ideas
I like how you chase me, beg me to stay,
I love how you worship me
Don't expect me to do the same
Told you from the beginning- I want your Kitty Kat- nothing more
You can keep that "love shit" for the next sucker
I don't need it
Matter of fact, I don't want it
Damnnnnnnn gurl, you give great head!
Where did you learn how to do that?
And you say you don't like it
You are such a liar
I bet you do this with all the guys I see around you
And I am going to have ALL of you. Soon...
What now? Walls again?
Your big ideas again?
Baby, all them walls came crashing down the minute you took me in your lips
And swallowed.
Let's just get this over with already
Tired of these games
Chocolate Princess, I can't hold back anymore
You talk too damn much
Truth be told, I don't listen to half the shit you say anyway
Just waiting for the part when you let me in
You keep saying all these things...that you don't want this
But your eyes, lips, hips and heartbeat are telling me different
Damnnnnnn, gurl, you are sooo wet
Come on gurl, let me in!
Yes! In! Finally
Ohhhhhhh, gurl, you feel so good!
Fuuuuuuuck!
Tell me this Kitty Kat is all mine
Go on- say it is
All mine
No one else allowed here
What? You like being told what to do?
I knew you were a freak!
On your knees!! Now!!!
Take me in your mouth and suck
Yes! Suck, bitch, suck!
And swallow every last drop
What? You don't feel safe?
Well, it's not my responsibility to make you feel safe
Cos I ain't your tribesman no more
I ain't your friend
I am your master
I own you
Now open up
Let me into that thick, juicy, chocolate, yummy goodness
What is this? Guilt? I ain't got time for that!
Vulnerability? Even worse
I don't have time to cuddle you
You knew the score
That's the spirit- no guilt trips
I need you nice, wet, eager when I want you again
And yes- silent too
Your thoughts, emotions, needs, fears don't count here
It's all about me
I thought you said you didn't want this?
You are such a liar
I don't respect you
But damnnnnn... I love your Kitty Kat!
The girl
Me?
You talking to me?
You see me?
Didn't think anyone could
I like what I see, too
Your smile, your easy laugh, your ability to make me feel...normal
Like I matter
But I musn't
You belong to someone else
What? Be your girl?
What does that even mean?
I can't
You are too dangerous
You make me lose the ability to think when you stand close
Mouth goes dry. Hands shake a bit
Damnnnnn...creaming my panties too
Didn't think this was possible anymore
At my age?! Breathless like a 16 year old
What the hell is the matter with me? Why am I so weak around you?
Why do you have this effect on me?!
I love having you around, though
Talking to you
You do say some hurtful things sometimes
But its ok- you are here. Talking to me
I know I don't mean much to you but a girl can hope, right?
I can't believe it- you are always in my thoughts
I dress up thinking of how your eyes will glow when you see me
Finally! I get you to see me in my finery
Would give all my back teeth to have you look at me like that again
And again
And again
And tell me how beautiful I am
Why does it matter what you think?
Shiiiiiiiiit- I'm in love with you
That's why! Damnnnnnnn!!
Of all things to befall me
What? You want me on my knees
I want to please you
Make you want me for more than what my body parts can do for and to you.
Why don't you want to talk to me?
Will this make you want tme more?
Maybe
Yeaaaaah, I bet you like that
Like how I take you all in, Daddy?
You like how I swallow all your creamy, pineapple-juice goodness?
How did I learn to do that?
I don't know...I listened to your body
Why don't you want to listen to mine?
Wow- this shit does make you open up emotionally, does it?
Or maybe you know if you talk to me for a bit, I'll let you in
I'm done fighting you
I want to know what the fuss is all about
Want to know what you'll feel like
You are my friend, aren't you?
Surely you won't hurt me
Can I trust you?
In. Ooooook. Feels nice. At least...
Saying all the shit you want me to say
Waiting...
Letting you invade me from behind
This pleases you, doesn't it?
Will it make you love me?
Even for a bit?
Why am I so wet? Can't you tell its because I'm in love with you?
I am not this way with everyone else
Though sadly, I think you actually believe I do this with every Tom-Dick-Harry...
Flip over- want to see your face
I'm no slave girl you trounce from behind
I'm a human being, with a soul
A goddess even
I want you to see that
Need you to see.
Waiting still...
Listen to you as you "jump off the cliff"
Waiting to jump too...
Nothing.
The earth did not move
But hey, you didn't promise that it would
After all, this is really all about you, isn't it?
Wish I didn't care like I did
Then it wouldn't hurt so much
But damnnnnn....I love the shit outta you!
I promised myself to keep this nice and short, Please note that these findings are not conclusive- the experiment is yet ongoing and I shall be updating y'all on how things have progressed.
You know I always like to end on a happy, hopeful note. So here it is-
Fine! So what if many of us have been burned by members of the opposite sex?! Who hasn't? The key is not to let it make us bitter but sweeter. As a child of God, I don't believe anything takes God by surprise and I do not believe that He didn't see the hurt coming to a child of His and not have an escape or healing plan in mind.
Can we be real here, Chocolate Princesses and Children of the Most High God?! See, if we are being honest with ourselves, we can admit that during the course of dealing with some types of dude we know are really good for us, can we all admit that the Holy Ghost does whisper warnings? But lawd have mercy, that brother is sometimes just too yummy- especially if he has all those things you secretly desire in your mate. Even when he seems sincere, we know, deep down that all the sweet things he's saying are all lies and can see through all the crap. And don't even get me started on the guys that can lay it down well, give you multiple orgasms that make your toes curl 3 x backwards! For that kind, I will rob a bank if he tells me to (if that is the price for his constant ministrations, love and attention). Just keeping it real, ladies! Lol!
A lot of us have been there and that's ok. No need to beat yourself up. God loves you and He does want the best for you. Way forward? I would suggest the following:
1. Educate yourself because knowledge and its application is indeed power
2. Ask more questions that will help you better understand the the male psyche, especially from your male friends,
3. Don't be overtly guarded- I know this is hard but always remember that God has not given you a spirit of fear but of Power, Love and a Sound mind
4. Refuse to be bitter. Keep your sweet disposition and don't let any human morph you into something God never designed you to be- a twisted, bitter, jaded, angry version of yourself. God forbid!
5. Always remember that no man can give you what only God can.
For some of us, we have gone around seeking for that "extra something" that we cannot explain in human terms. We've moved from the arms of one man to another, desperately seeking that Father's love and every time, without fail, getting hurt, disappointed and disillusioned! Some us have been called all sorts of names and misunderstood for most of our lives; others have decided to agree with some of these evil labels and have sunk to such a low that 'decent folk" do not want to be associated with them- even family.
Aren't you so glad that isn't the end of our story? I can just see him now. Look up Chocolate Nation- It's bird! Its a plane...nooooo! It's Jesus- the Great Lover of our souls and the Champion of our faith flying in to our rescue! Hallelujurrrrrr!!! The One who loves us, NO MATTER WHAT! If you let Him, He wants to love you sooooo good, it will spin your head 360 degrees 100x over! Lol!
Ladies, as a wise friend of mine once said- the game is not over, there are always comebacks! I totally agree! Its not over till we are dead, right?! So what that we make the same mistakes 5 million times? So what that we fall for the same guys every frigging time even after knowing the Lord all our lives? So what?! Come on, pick up yourself and start all over. Jesus has never given upon you so why should you?! Did you think you took Him by surprise with that thing you did last night? Are you arrogant enough to believe that you can chase the Holy Ghost away with your sins? Child, please!
Who do you think will counsel you out of the pit you dug yourself in? Didn't He promise NEVER to leave or forsake you? Who will send the Word that will deliver you from the destruction and the pit? And FYI, while you were giving that silly brother "great head" Holy Ghost was right there with you- He ain't EVER going nowhere! Quit listening to all those lies religion has told you over the years! He loves you and He wants to help you. Please, let Him- get over yourself and get with the Holy Ghost program!
He loves you!
He sees you as awesome
He sees you as special cos you are!!!
